2018: The Year of Intention

Do you ever just make plans and then they get pushed off or put on hold due to something unexpected?

For example: last night I had planned to go out with a few girls to dinner, ring in the new year, and then dance the night away (among other things like writing this blog post and cleaning the apartment). I woke up with an incredible sinus headache and the chills. The only thing I actually did yesterday was start and finish Mindhunter on Netflix and rewatch some of my favorite episodes of Arrested Development and play HQ Trivia (no – I have not won any money yet, no I’m not bitter about it).

When I make my plans for the day, I never factor in if something goes wrong. I just assume that everything will go as planned. Over the years, that has put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself. Pressure just to try and make sure that nothing goes wrong (apparently I forgot that I am a human and that the grace of God exists).

Looking back on how I have planned out my life for my previous years, I set resolutions with the expectation that everything will go according to plan. I say to myself “No, I won’t get injured and I will be able to perfectly complete my training program in time for my marathon.” Or “I don’t plan on getting sick so any money I set aside for the doctor can be automatically put into savings.”

Well unfortunately that’s not what I have encountered this past year. It has been full of disappointments and realizing that life happens and doesn’t stop just because I make plans otherwise. This year, I’m aiming to set realistic resolutions. Resolutions that I have carefully planned out with a buffer for when things don’t go exactly as planned. For me, instead of looking at the year as a whole, it means breaking the year up into 12 months to set monthly goals instead of yearly ones. Instead of calling them resolutions, I am calling them intentions. Intentions have more meaning to me: it’s saying despite what happens in my life “I intend to do this.” I’ve planned it out, I’ve planned for buffers, and I will get this accomplished.

This year, as I look at my “resolutions” “intentions,” I ask myself are these realistic? Or am I banking on the fact that “life” won’t actually happen and everything will go according to plan? Plan for your goals and dreams, but be sure to leave buffer for the unexpected too.

Kylie-Signature

Just Say Yes

Paints & Brushes

What would happen if we just said yes?

“So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many are called, but few are chosen.” Matthew 20:16 (KJV)

There is blessing and promise on the other side of discomfort. When I choose to say yes every day, to keep living a life full of the fruits of the spirit, then I have the power to impact the lives of those who see me living. Just by living in The Spirit of God, to say yes to Him every day, I am set apart. I am chosen and called to say yes.

The NYPL Building, 5th Ave

About a year ago, I was attending the She Is Free women’s conference my church Liberty Church hosts every year in New York City. Ordinarily, I would offer to volunteer, but it was my first time attending the conference and I wanted to “not miss a single thing” and wanted to get the “full experience.” A couple of my close friends, Louisa and Trish, asked me a few times to volunteer and I politely declined. After a few more asks, I felt a tug on my heart to just take the leap and volunteer. And boy was I glad I did. My station was in the green room, which was where the speakers and hosts of the conference spent some down time in between sessions. Not only did I get to meet and speak with some of the leaders whose books I’ve read and podcasts I listen to,  but I received a word from Kris Vallotton that would ultimately change my entire experience at the conference. Because I was expectant and because I had said yes to volunteering, I was at the right place and the right time to receive that word. Kris looked at me, and he saw me. He said yes to stepping out in boldness, and gave me a word of encouragement. He said I was a dreamer (…and then I broke down crying… because obviously…). At the end of the day, my ability to say “yes” is not just for me, but for someone else.

So today, I say yes. Yes to stepping out of my comfort zone. Yes to something I would normally turn down. Yes to something that I don’t feel like doing. And it’s not enough to say yes once, but I need to keep saying yes. I need to actively choose to do the things that push my boundaries and push me out of my comfort zone. I need to actively choose to be bold, to be a bit more curious, to be living and leading a life that that this world calls a bit “odd”.

Kylie-Signature

 

The Power of Perks

Staying focused is hard. Really hard. Short term, long term, I struggle with both sometimes. Coming up with a reward system for yourself or little perks when you reach certain milestones is key to keep going, for me.
When I was little, maybe 8, I had to write this research paper on an invention of my choice. I could have picked anything, and mine was the ballpoint pen. Something simple, something you use almost everyday. Anyway, all that is to say that every time I wrote 100 words of the paper, I was rewarded with 5 M&M candies. It was an incentive for me to keep going, even when I didn’t feel like it. Because, let’s face it, I wanted M&M’s.
Right now, I’m on a “mega savings plan.” “Ummm, what is that?” you might ask. Well, it’s a plan I made up myself to save as much money as possible as quickly as possible. It’s hard to give up old spending habits (ie cabs everywhere and going out to eat), so I made myself a savings incentive list, so that I have a motivation to keep going (besides the obvious: having a substantial savings). When I save “$X,” I can take a weekend solo trip. When I save “$X” more, I can take a language class I’ve been wanting to take. So on and so forth.
Yes, self-discipline is good. It is necessary. But unfortunately it is not all that is part of the equation. One of my best friends Louisa has recently lent me a called Accent of Leadership by Steve Kelly (I haven’t finished reading it yet becuase I’m letting all of the concepts sink in- but I couldn’t wait to share with you what I have learned so far). He made a good point in saying the following:

“Some people think if they were more self-disciplined, problems would go away. Yet until we develop a vision that is bigger than simply being more disciplined, the change we seek will never become permanent.”

Completely cutting yourself off from everything won’t improve your habits or quality of life, and you may just find yourself right back where you started. As you go into this week, ask yourself: what are your perks to keep you going? What is your greater vision, the bigger picture you have for your life? How do you or will you create a reasonable reward system for yourself to get you closer to your goal? And how will the decisions you make every day get you closer to your end-goal? (Edit 6.25.2017)
If I find myself habitually drawing on the go, I have so much joy by integrating that into my daily life. It’s almost like it has become a part of what I do daily: and I love it! Above are some drawings I recently made on the go, in an Lyft when I was in California this past weekend. Enjoy!
Kylie-Signature

Reaching Generations

Sometimes I take for granted the things that people around me have created to make my life easier or my life so wonderful. It’s easy to hold your phone in your hand, something that has been “perfected” and developed over decades of tech advancement & testing to take a picture of a classic New York monument, one that took so long to build; and not even think twice about it.
Flatiron Building
I feel so often I take for granted the finished product of things; and don’t appreciate the time it takes to build something beautiful, something that lasts, and something people can appreciate for years to come.

My favorite building in the world (right now), the Flatiron Building, was actually envisioned and designed by architect Daniel Burnham, who worked with The Fuller Company until its completion in 1902. Unfortunately, even after working to put a dream into practice, the CEO of the company who bought the land in the 1800’s was not able to see the finished product before he died. Nevertheless, because of Fuller’s vision and investment, millions of people are able to enjoy his handiwork today.

I could study and draw this building for years, and I have, and I always find a new architectural element that fascinates me. One of my favorite things to do in the city is to sit on the chairs in Madison Square Park across from the Flatiron Building (probably with a cup of coffee in hand) and just thank God that these beautiful landmarks still stand here today.

So when you start your next project, think of the legacy you want to leave behind. Is what your working on something just for now for yourself or something generations of people can enjoy later? Be patient, and know that to produce something of quality that lasts can sometimes take more than a lifetime.
Kylie-Signature

Why Dream?

Dreamers often get the short end of things. Sometimes we get a bad rep for being off in our own world, living purely out of our imagination. But you see, that is just the things that make dreamers so important and relevant in this world.

What if we never had people who were born to dream, who imagined the world to be a different place, who challenged the status quo? What if we never had people who asked questions, dreamt of new possibilities, and more efficient ways to accomplish things? What if dreamers did not exist?

Dreaming is important because dreaming changes things. It sees a current circumstance and wants to improve the situation. Dreaming is the spark to a movement and the beginning of a revolution.

If there is a vision on your heart that you have for the world, you must keep that alive and never stop pursuing the dream. Nurture your dream every day, even if it you only have five minutes. Do not lose sight of the very things that bring your soul to life.

To dream in big you must be persistent, constantly reminding yourself as to why it is you want, what you want, so badly. Having a dream is not a gift to be taken for granted. So use your original ideas for good, and let them come to life!

scan-1

 

 

A Dream Within a Dream

Most times it is easier for us to imagine what our life would be like without actually having to work for it. You catch yourself saying “wouldn’t it be nice…” or “I’m too busy to…” or “someday when I have…” or my  personal favorite (aka most often used phrase), “once I have the money to…” Sound familiar? Welcome to my every day life.

There has always been and there will always be circumstances around me that try and challenge me, belittle me, and make me feel like I am not good enough to accomplish something. These hypothetical circumstances contribute to a negative thought pattern that is not only unhealthy, but also preventing me personally from turning my dreams into practice.

You see, if we are not careful, our dreams can remain that: just dreams. Who said that you aren’t good enough? Who said that you don’t have the time, the money or the experience to set goals and go after them? Yes, you will have to sacrifice in other areas of your life to accomplish what you want to. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, you will have to say no to many other things (distractions). But at the end of the day, you have to start somewhere.

img_2529-1

A friend had once given me a greeting card that says ” ‘Begin Anywhere’ -John. Cage.” It has been tacked on my wall for about a year now, but it just hit me a different way when I looked at it the other day. As you can see, I am really into writing. I have always wanted to write with and own a fountain pen. I now own one, but it has been sitting in the box for the past few months. Until today, I had not ever opened the pen, for fear the ink would get everywhere, my calligraphy wouldn’t be the perfect typography, silly things like that. If I never opened the box, if I never tried out the pen, if I never practiced writing my name in cursive a few times, I may have let the pen sit there in the box. Unused. Until the ink expired.

img_2533

Don’t let the fear of not being good enough or messing up stop you from even trying something to begin with. A devotional app I use said this “Do you hide your talents, gifts, and abilities? Put your light on a stand and let everyone benefit from the light you give off.”

You can begin anywhere, but you can’t begin everywhere. You must pick and choose what areas in your life you want to win, and what areas in your life you will sacrifice. Most importantly, be brave enough to start, becuase you never know who will need to hear what you have to say. If we are going to make the most of every day we are here, we cannot afford to remain neutral. The motivation and determination to start – it’s IN you.

scan-32

So don’t let your dreams be just dreams.

scan-1

 

Dreaming of a Brand New Start

I find so often that there are so many great ideas going through my head, but I don’t even know where to begin. My mind runs at one hundred miles per hour, then pretty soon all my ideas, dreams if you will, end up falling to the curb or shelved for a season. This happens to me. All. The. Time.

I don’t know if it is becuase I have a fear that I can’t accomplish something great (even though in my heart I know I can). Or maybe am I overwhelmed, or intimidated by the amount of things I have to do that I don’t even start anything. Ever.

Sometimes we need to step back and think of some practical knowledge and guidance that will help us navigate the new and start something fresh.

First of all, I encourage you to take it step by step. You are not going to become the next millionaire overnight, just like you will not run your fastest mile on your very first run. Remember that the quicker you come, the faster you go. There is power in building momentum, there is power in resilience, and there is power in moving forward even if you feel you are not making progress.

I am in the middle of reading this book called In The Company of Women, and there was a highlighted passage by this graphic designer from Philadelphia, Veronica Corzo-Duchardt that really stuck out to me. It says this: “You can’t do it all. You need to choose what’s most important to you and go after it. And that can change at different points in your life, so it’s important to be flexible and react to the moment. Put your efforts toward the things that are important to you and that you do best, the things that only you can do.”

Dreams. Direction. Dedication.

 

xo

Kylie